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renee wardle
January 21, 2017 12:45 pm
Maintaining a long-distance relationship can be tricky business. As someone in their own LDR with 17,000kms between myself and my partner, I'm a believer that these relationships are sustainable. 1. Date night Having a routine date night that's set in place each week can really help create some semblance of normality where there generally isn't any. If you can look at your calendar and say "yep, Wednesday night I get to see them", it'll usually make your week and conversations go a whole lot faster, and therefore smoother. For people in a typical relationship where they're close to their loved one it may seem strange to have a date when you're both not physically present, but think about those times you've been on the phone with someone you really like - you still enjoy their company, right? This is essentially the same thing (kind of). 2. Skype Skype and Facetime make it easy to see the other person so then it's just a matter of picking something to do. To watch movies together, there are a heap of options you can look into, including Gaze - a web app that lets you watch videos with those that are far away. A game I'm hopelessly addicted to is a spin-off of the Heads Up! app, which is essentially charades. Any game where I can make an idiot of myself on the internet is generally my cup of tea! 3. Cooking I've known couples who would cook together every night with their webcams on (let the 'aww's roll in!). If you know your way around a hot plate and have your microwave license then by all means go ahead; but I'm saving my dignity and my kitchen from a fire. Still a worthwhile tip. 4. Communicate creatively I'm not necessarily talking about a homing pigeon here but sometimes distance can mess up ISPs connection and phone lines. It's not a great feeling when the phone is crackling and all you can hear is your boyfriend/girlfriend getting irritated down the other end. Skype comes through again as a good messaging app and voice service but it has failed me before. WhatsApp is an obvious alternative. 5. Know each other's schedules Don't be a stalker about it. It's good to know if you're calling and calling and she's not answering (it's okay, she isn't in a ditch somewhere, she's just at work!). Or, if he won't respond to the 50th Joe Biden meme you've sent it might just be because he's asleep (or because you need to calm down with the memes). Knowing when each other is sleeping and awake (like some real life Santa) can eliminate unnecessary worrying and petty arguments. 6. Stay honest Don't be that person. That person that side eyes their friend and says, "Oh *giggle* I shouldn't I'm with someone," and then does/says it anyway. On the same note, don't skirt around subjects, be honest and upfront about things when you're talking. You don't have the luxury of the "I'm fine" comments here, your partner may actually be a magician by trade but accurately reading body language and tone 100% of the time in a long distance relationship would have to place them in Hogwarts. Being sullen and snarky is only going to lead to resentment and contempt. It's normal to be insecure and worry about what they're doing out there in the big world without you. You have to remember they aren't a puppy, they're your partner and although it's normal to worry and voice your concerns it's best to work on insecurity and any jealousy before it bites you (like an actual puppy). 7. Care packages I never went to camp. Actually, I did and it was awful. However, I never received a care package and didn't become familiar with the term until recent years. Care packages are awesome. Step 1) Think of what your significant other likes Step 2) Buy those things Step 3) Send those things Step 4) Profit The things you put in care packages can be handwritten cards and notes, candy from where you are, photographs, books or DVDs - pretty much anything that they enjoy. 8. Have a goal in mind This is one of the important parts of being in a long distance relationship, having a goal in mind. That goal could be when you'll meet up for the first time. Or maybe when you'll move suburb, state or country. For my partner and I, we're only 3 months away until we're finally in the same country together after years of being apart (pretty exciting!). Having a goal makes it feel less like limbo. 9. Be grateful Finally, and probably my most favourite of all of the tips in the land is to be grateful. You have a relationship that, against all odds, is working out in your favour and is making you happy. Practice gratitude for that each day.
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