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Amanda Harper
January 21, 2017 12:35 pm
There comes an exciting time in every couple's relationship when both individuals feel they are ready for the next ‘big’ step (aside from marriage or having a child) *screams at the thought of responsibility*. This step, as you might have guessed, is moving in together; and whilst it’s extremely thrilling let’s not ignore its crippling ability to either make or break a couple. For most couples it’s fun at first – sharing the same room (“It’s not your room, or my room… it’s our room") doing groceries, splitting bills and decorating the house together. However, being with each other 24/7 without time apart is bound to stir the pot and drive a few couples up the wall. Understand – no one’s perfect – but people are annoying, and weird, and have strange habits that will most likely get on your nerves. That’s why it’s important to make sure you’re moving in with the absolute one (tip: do not move in with your partner if he or she likes to watch re-runs of M*A*S*H or considers themselves cultured after eating a packet of Mi Goreng). If you’re about to move in with your partner, or have tried and failed in the past, read on. This guide promises to break down the pros and cons, explain a few things you might not have considered before the big move and offer a few pro tips about the survival of your relationship after the change. Pros 1. You get to see them – EVERYDAY For couples that have ridiculously busy work schedules moving in together is a great way to make time for each other. Now I’m not saying moving in with your partner is a quick fix solution to not seeing them often enough (!!!) but this big step will help open up a whole heap time for you and your loved one. Forget coming home from work late, crashing on the couch with a left over pizza feeling too exhausted to make the commute to your partner’s house - instead, your partner will be waiting for you with a glass of wine and a shoulder to lean on after a long day. This feeling of security is comforting and is a massive perk of moving in. You get to wake up with your favourite person and fall asleep with them every night. Instead of going days or, for some couples, even weeks without seeing each other you get to see each other every-goddamn-day! Praise the lord! 2. You learn more about your partner He likes to sing ABBA in the shower, separate his carrots from his peas during dinner and has an extensive before-bed beauty routine involving an array of creams and serums? And she likes to organise the food in the cupboard by alphabetical order and watch late night re-runs of F.R.I.E.N.D.S until 2AM? These are all fun things you finally get to learn about each other after you move in. Nothing will teach you more about your loved one than when you finally share a home with them. You’ll love some of their crazy habits and you’ll hate some of them too. And that’s ok. At the end of the day, few things will strengthen or improve your relationship than learning to love and accept every part of your partner! Discovering these quirks will only bring you closer together and allow you to find more things to fall in love with. 3. Taking your relationship to the next level is exciting and paves the way for bigger things I still remember the rush of adrenaline I had when my boyfriend walked through my front door late one night and told me, “We should just do it! Let's move in together," after discussing it for weeks. Taking this next step is a natural progression in every happy, healthy relationship! It prepares you for your future together and should be celebrated. 4. You have a bedtime bodyguard What’s the bet your partner has always slept on the side closest to the door? (I know my boyfriend does!). This means that if you have a late night intruder your partner can protect you whilst you escape down the hallway (thanks babe). Cons 1. You have to work harder at romance After a couple moves in together date night notoriously disappears. Instead of getting together and going out 2-3 times a week for dinner and a movie, it quickly becomes “let’s just order in and binge watch Game of Thrones"; put simply, it’s easier, more comfortable and, on behalf of couples everywhere, totally understandable. Seeing each other is no longer a huge, social occasion (which is probably easier on the wallet!). However, this is dangerous as it can dissolve all the important, exciting elements of a relationship, like mystery and surprise. This means that a couple has to work harder at keeping the spark alive. Good news is there are plenty of ways to surprise your partner at home; like organising their favourite home cooked meal in the backyard, under the stars with a bunch of candles (with no TV or couch insight!). 2. Sharing finances may be tricky Even if you shared living expenses with a house mate in the past, sharing a financial responsibility with your partner can be hard. It’s a whole new ball game. It’s no longer just splitting the costs of detergent, cleaning products, bin liners and rent, electricity and internet; it’s all of the above weekend and evening expenditures. Not to also mention groceries, maintaining a car or subscriptions to things like Netflix. Whilst this has the potential to create tension in the relationship (if one feels they pay too much and the other not enough) communication is key in maintaining this balance and shouldn’t be a problem if well-managed. 3. All the decorative decisions are no longer just up to you Unfortunately, you can’t just have it all your way. Your taste might not be their taste and vice versa. And guess what? You have to live together in that space. Don’t have a sook about the ugly bookcase they picked up on Gumtree or the mismatched knife and fork set they’re super in love with. Work together to create a beautiful unique space that reflects you and your loved one. It’s your love nest! Tips on how to make your relationship flourish - Learn to compromise with your partner on a bunch of new ‘housey’ things e.g: rearranging your weekly TV viewing schedule and taking turns at cooking dinner. - Communicate! It's no secret communication is the key to a healthy relationship. If they leave their towels on the bathroom floor every night and it annoys you, let them know! Don’t let it build up – honesty really is the best policy! - Share household chores evenly! This responsibility should be even to decrease the risk of silly arguments; like a fight about who took the bin out last. - Understand and accept you’ll both need time apart sometimes. We’re only human! Everyone needs a little solitude and time to themselves. Remind each other not to take it personally and encourage it when necessary. #supportnetwork101 - Get comfortable! Hang your laundry out in the bathroom, make a pillow fort in the garden, hold a dance party in the living room, have sex against the front door. Break free from the constraints that held you back in your old share house or family home. You’re liberated now in your own exclusive space, so have fun and enjoy your new private playground paradise! - Remember you’re your own person. Avoid becoming surgically attached at the hip by continuing your own favourite hobbies, sports or activities outside the love nest. At the end of the day, moving in with your partner is exciting. It means you get to spend every day with your best friend and you always have someone to vent to and take care of you when you’re sick (not to mention coming home from work becomes that much easier!). Above all, love, cherish and appreciate your partner day in and day out and living together will be a breeze!
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